nus has gotten back to me regarding my dentistry appeal so i guess it's finally time to come to terms with the fact that im probably not suited for this career. this is probably due to interest, or maybe it's just due to how im not able to withstand a lot of pressure at once.

my recent stay in hospital has also convinced me of one thing: it's really not nice to be a warded patient, or even a patient for that matter. my 1 night of stay was already plagued by calls in the middle of the night for injections and re-infusions of antibiotics, by having to pee into a bedpan, by feeling so weak and light-headed all the time after profusely vomiting every time i sat up. to all my friends who are going to be entering medicine and dentistry, please keep this in mind: at least try to tell ur pts what they want to hear. u had no idea how relieved i was when i heard that i could go home.

i'll prob look back on this path of medicine later in the future, but for now it's prob better to just focus on what i've been given, and to make sure i do my best.

why do some ppl insist on remaining stationary on the right side of the escalator instead of moving like they're supposed to? haven't god knows how many years of public announcements drilled into their heads by NOW that we are asked to keep to the left for a reason? is it so that you can turn right at the end, for your own convenience? even so u can still walk up right. u dun wan to walk up u stay on the left side lah. a few more steps to turn right only wad. it's really damn irritating when u're rushing in the morn and this ah peh in front of you won't move just cos he's too lazy. maybe it's just me and my infuriating habit of keeping things to myself, but im prob too thin-skinned to excuse myself and tell him to f*** off.

why do some couples insist on standing together when they're taking public transport even when their position is so compromising to others? the train is freaking crowded in the morn and they REFUSE to move in you know. maybe they're standing on their magic spot, where their romance is temporarily raised by a few points and they absolutely HAVE to indulge in the sudden rush of love, together.

SO?

what pisses me off more is that some are working people. educated, mature working people who would prob have more common sense and would know better than others than to take up space [unnecessarily] on the train. maybe i should find myself a boyfriend and stick myself to him on a magic spot on a train. i would definitely be able to gain some grand form of revelation from all the stares i would gather.

i heard the flying dutchman comment before that it's actually quite sad that the singapore government has to even launch a courtesy campaign. that is definitely very true. i think it's also very sad that phua chu kang, a household icon, had to be dragged out after so many years just for the sake of the courtesy campaign, and how the text on the speech bubbles on the trains and buses isnt really proper english, but isnt phua chu kang singlish either. Most sad of all is the fact that despite all the manpower the government has deployed against this, despite the lame music videos of pck being played profusely through the mrt televisions, despite all the forum posts angry people like myself have written against such lack of courtesy, it seems like we still have a long way to go. my brother has still been left standing on an empty train, but with non-empty seats, with ppl who apparently only stare, but lack initiative and courtesy. not once, but twice, three times? maybe more? can't be bothered to count, or expect anything anymore.







i hate coming to work in the morning.



[on jocelyn's request: i love jocelyn *hides myself in a hole*]

applied for nus prince george's park residence (pgpr) type b. room with a washbasin (: wanted type c at first (standard room) but the diff between type b and type c is just $5 per week ($75 vs $80) so might as well. no need to sneak out in the middle of the night to brush my teeth. can on the light lah...but scary leh.



actually the whole point of applying for nus accomodation was to experience hostel life. since pgpr doesnt really have that many activities, and they arent compulsory my choice doesnt really make sense. feeling doubts now...



i suppose my rationale at first was to choose a place where i could have more time to myself, cos i really treasure my own time with myself and my computer (videos!!) and my bed (SLEEP.) and my music. v impt. and i need to do really well during uni to compensate for my horrible a lvl results so i'll need more time to study. furthermore hall activities are compulsory, so i wld like to go for activities when i like, and not because im forced to go for them. the hall i selected for second choice is KEVII hall (King Edward V something. lol)...this hall and pgpr are really close to sci fac so it'll be convenient. in fact kev hall is closer to sci PLUS med & dentistry fac, so there're lots and lots of med students in kev. i even heard from forums that med students are given priority during allocation of accomodation...lol.

haiz. if anyone knows ANYTHING abt hall/residence life pls tell me...i think i only have like 2 days to change. if i change. deadline: 12 june.

im growing closer to my 100th post...woohoo.

you know, reading other ppl's blogs can be v interesting. like u realise how every person's writing style is different, and how what they say can be oh so funny. really leh...some ppl (i shall not mention who) rant in such a cute way <3

a bit sian right now. i need more music.

watched night at the museum 2. it's really spas, but i wldnt recommend spending too much money on it. i spent a freaking 30 dollars for 3 ppl watching (me + my parents). was too lazy to buy popcorn...the queue was so freaking long lah. the show is not very worth 10 dollars per person though...it's just lame jokes and nothing else. was quite disappointed by amy adams' performance...expected more than this swooning, gung-ho but pseudo-adventurous woman.

then again, i went to watch this movie knowing very well of its 37% rotten rating on rotten tomatoes, as well as its 2.5 stars rating by ST so can't really expect that much right?

found departures on the net. woohoo.

ok. done being bored.

[edit: i can feel my english deteriorating by the minute. what's happening to me...?]

[edit again: i really feel like going back to sch...i can't believe im saying this but i really feel like studying again...rar...]

i honestly have no idea why im seeing monks as patients at a private hospital. I thought they were supposed to lead a simple way of life with no material frills.

Maybe the explanation for this observation is the same as that for seeing monks driving BMWs, or eating in high-class restaurants, or staying in five-star hotels.

Or maybe they're simply following the 'modern monk' trend as set by Venerable Shi Ming Yi, who shot to considerable fame a few months ago, for less glamorous reasons.

okay, to update...

I'm back at RH! yay. got to (sort of) surprise all my colleagues on wed by turning up and pretending i was back to visit them again. but lol, they guessed right anyway, since they were expecting me next week. it feels really nice to be back with them again...the atmosphere here is really warm...jocelyn always cheers me up after a long day. she's so damn funny. lol.

But not only her actually, there are so many jie jies here. i kind of feel apologetic to doreen, marina square's cc who trained me for like 2 days before I left super suddenly on wed. i hope i've done enough by 'briefing' abhi on what she has to learn there...left her feeling really overwhelmed, since there IS quite a lot to learn from the rmg system.

As for NUS results...i'll tell everyone here that i've been accepted into the science faculty (*wipes away cold sweat*...heng). as for the dream that i had been chasing but obviously did not perform up to...i'm not sure if it ends here. i would really like to pursue it further, but the lack of financial means is quite disconcerting.

i've realised something though...when given an aim, or something to actively pursue, i'd wholeheartedly believe that that particular career was for me...until it got out of my reach. I don't know if it was the disappointment from not receiving a medicine interview, or the frustration from having screwed up my dentistry interview that i've suddenly lost interest in all the medicine that's going on ard me at the clinic. i've still retained a little interest of course, since i've learnt more about it in the course of the past 4 months, but i've lost my drive to learn more about medicine when it seems so far away. This definitely shows that i either do not possess the determination to see my dreams through, or that i just don't possess the determination to see my dream of medicine through. Maybe my mind is just too split and indecisive to be sure what I myself truly want.

Right now though, i would like to just go for science and keep my options open...let's just see what the letter from nus says. for now, i can say that since there's still a road for me to follow, i won't give up on my dream now.

dentistry and med results have been released...congrats to all who have been accepted.

since I cant log in into the joint acceptance website, i probably havent been accepted then...sort of expected it but at the same time my future looks really bleak.

everyone is saying not to give up hope but the chances of being accepted while on the waiting list are pretty much close to zero, since the dentistry intake is so small (40+).

the only thing i can do now i keep on praying i guess...pray pray